Spam in alium

It's good to see struggling musicians making use of the latest direct marketing techniques. Gene might write libretti for a day job, but he also writes a very persuasive press release, as you can see from this email I received recently. The capital letters really help to convey what a great opportunity this is. Make sure you follow the link and listen to the samples:

From: "GENE TYBURN" <tyburn4@cox.net>
Date: 20 February 2006 04:51:42 GMT
Subject: A NEW VERY LYRICAL WORK IN ENGLISH. ANTONY AND CLEOPATRA

DEAR MARK.....WE HAVE A NEW LYRICAL OPERA FOR YOUR COUNTRY TO READ AND HEARD THE SCENES FROM OUR OPERA OF ANTONY AND CLEOPATRA. JUST GO TO OUR SITE  [TYBURNOPERAS.COM] ON THE WEB AND DOWNLOAD REALPLAYER READ AND LISTEN TO A GREAT NEW LYRICAL WORK IN ENGLISH..

OTHER WORKS TO BE COMMING ON LINE SOON IS MACBETH. CONTACT ME AT GENEOTYBURN@YAHOO.COM WHEN YOU REALIZE IT IS A GREAT NEW LYRICAL WORK THAT WILL BRING NEW AUDIENCE INTO THE OPERA HOUSE ....INSTEAD OF REJECTING THEM AS THE SAME OLD CHESTNUTS IN ITALIAN AND FRENCH DO.. THIS IS DYNAMIC WORK IN ENGLISH THAT WILL MAKE YOU SOME MONEY ...NOW WOULDNT THAT BE A CHANGE.

YOURS SINCERELY
GENE TYBURN

LETTERS TO THE EDITORS TO HELP LOCAL OPERA COMPANY SEE ITS ERRO

OPERA ON THE RESPIRATOR

THE E. N. O. ENGLISH NATIONAL OPERA OF LONDON REALIZED LONG AGO THAT THE AUDIENCE WAS DIMINISHING FOR OPERA IN A FOREIGN TONGUE AND DECIDED TO TRY SOMETHING NEW.... OPERA IN ENGLISH. THIS MUCH TO THE ANGER OF THE TRADITIONIST OF THE OPERA WORLD AND DECLARED THAT IT WOULD DIE STILL BORN.

FAR FROM IT...IT HAS NOW GROWN SO LARGE IN POPULARITY THAT IT IS OVER TAKING THE ROYAL OPERA IN ATTENDANCE. THE AUDIENCE IS SIMPLY FED UP WITH SEEING GREAT PERFORMANCES IN FOREIGN LANGUAGES THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND. THE TRANSLATIONS ARE ARTFUL AND POETIC AND THE MUSIC IS EXACTLY THE SAME AS WRITTEN BY THE ORIGINAL COMPOSER...WITH THIS BIG EXCEPTION ...THE AUDIENCE ACTUALLY NOW UNDERSTANDS ALL THAT IS BEING SUNG. AND BECAUSE OF THIS, ATTENDANCE IS GROWING IN LEAPS AND BOUNDS

THIS EDITORIAL IS BEING WRITTEN BECAUSE I SAW A SPECIAL ON THE E. N. O. THE OTHER NIGHT ON PBS AND IT WAS WONDERFUL TO HEAR ALL THE EXCERPTS IN ENGLISH. AND LISTEN TO THE GREAT MUSIC BY VERDI AND PUCCINI. ETC.

OF COURSE THE OLD SCHOOL OF THE OPERA WORLD WHO RUN SANTA BARBARA OPERA WILL BE VERY ANGRY WITH THIS ARTICLES...AS IF I WERE GOING TO UPSET THEIR SPECIAL BABY CART. BUT THAT IS NOT WHAT I WANT TO DO...IN FACT I WANT TO APPLAUD THEM FOR SOME OF THE VERY EXCELLENT PRODUCTIONS THIS YEAR ..UNDER THE BATON OF THE VERY SPECIAL AND EXTRAORDINARY TALENTED CONDUCTOR VALERY RYVKIN.

BUT IT IS THIS MANS OPINION THAT THEY ARE DEFINITELY ON THE WRONG TRACT IF THEY WANT TO BRING GREAT MUSIC AND ART TO THE PEOPLE.

BUT OF COURSE THAT HAS NOT THEIR OBJECTIVE. BY PURSUING THE SAME COURSE YEAR AFTER YEAR THE AUDIENCE ARE GETTING SMALLER AND SMALLER...PRODUCING A FULL BLOWN PRODUCTION AND HAVING ONLY 3 PERFORMANCES OF EACH OPERA .. GATHERING ONLY 2, 000 PAYING COSTUMERS TO SEE ONE PRODUCTION. THIS MEANS THEY ARE LOSING THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS AT EACH PRODUCTION...AND HAVING TO SPEND MORE TIME BEGGING FOR MONEY FROM BLUE HAIRED OLD WIDOWS, AND DOTTING OLD MEN. I HAVE BEEN GOING TO THE LAST FEW PRODUCTIONS NOT ONLY TO SEE THE PRODUCTIONS...BUT TO OBSERVE THE AUDIENCE. AND WHAT DO I SEE?. 95 PERCENT OF THE AUDIENCE IS OVER 75 YEARS OF AGE. VIRTUALLY NO YOUNG PEOPLE PARTAKING OF THIS GREATEST OF ALL ART FORMS.

THE REASONS ARE TOO, TOO OBVIOUS. THE TICKETS ARE 78 DOLLARS A PIECE. THERE IS NO OUT REACH TO THE THOUSANDS OF YOUNG PEOPLE IN THE COMMUNITY. AND MOST IMPORTANT FACTOR IS THE OPERAS ARE PERFORMED IN FRENCH AND ITALIAN. . THIS IS WHY 95% OF THE POTENTIAL AUDIENCE WONT SHOW UP!. THINK OF THIS, THE POTENTIAL AUDIENCE FROM CARPENTERIA TO SANTA MARIA IS POSSIBLE 5,00.000 THOUSAND AND S B OPERA CAN’T BRING IN MORE THEN 2,000 PEOPLE FOR A FULL SCALE EXCELLENT OPERA PRODUCTION. CAN YOU THINK OF ANYTHING MORE ABSURD THEN THAT.?

I WOULD SAY...GIVEN MY FIGURES ARE EVEN NEAR CORRECT THE PEOPLE WHO RUN SANTA BARBARA OPERA ARE DOOMED TO RUNNING BEG-A-THONS MORE OFTEN AND EXPECTING THE DONORS TO COUGH UP BIGGER BUCKS. I CAN TELL YOU FROM MY LAST OBSERVATION WHILE ATTENDING THE OPERA, IT LOOKED LIKE A CONVENTION FOR THE CIVIL WAR VETERANS.

 

I WOULD PURPOSE THAT THEY RETHINK THERE OBJECTIVES...DO THEY JUST WANT TO KEEP THEIR SPECIAL SNOB 2,000 PATRON LIST COMING TO SEE THE SAME OLD CHESTNUTS YEAR AFTER YEAR OR THEY COULD REACH OUT IN TO THE COMMUNITY AND BRING IN THE MIDDLE CLASS WHO HAVE A GREAT CRAVING FOR THE OPERA IF IT WERE MORE ACCESSIBLE, IN LANGUAGE AND PRICE.

IF THE E.N.O. IN LONDON CAN DO IT ....SURELY THE SANTA BARBARA OPERA CAN GIVE UP THE SNOBBISH ATTITUDE THAT OPERA MUST BE PERFORMED IN ITS ORIGINAL LANGUAGE,. AND DAM THE REST OF UNEDUCATED SLOBS. THE OPERA IS A MAGNIFICENT THRILLING EXPERIENCE AND SHOULD BE SHARED BY THE REST OF OUR PEOPLE. IF YOU WANT THIS TO CHANGE, LET THEM KNOW BY CALLING THE OFFICE OF THE S B OFFICE. 805-8983890

MR TYBURN IS A LOCAL LIBRETTIST AND HAS COMPOSED 4 OPERAS IN ENGLISH HAMLET, MACBETH ANTONY AND CLEOPATRA AND OTHELLO. WHICH YOU CAN LISTEN TO AND READ ON HIS WEB SITE TYBURNOPRAS.COM

PS MY PHONE NUMBER IS 805-9694057

I KNOW THIS SOUNDS LIKE SOUR GRAPES BUT IM WILLING TO RISK BEING

Thanks Don

The Queen's English, Muttonbirds, Don McGlashan

On a West Coast station there was a
US Congressman, he was a
Guest on a talk show on the
Subject of language
And he said
"I'm a great one
For giving people their due,
But you have to draw the line somewhere
And when I look up ahead
I can only see one world
And it's a world without interpreters
and phrase-books because...

The Queen's English was
Good enough for Jesus Christ
And it's good enough for me

Despite his enthusiasm for

Despite his enthusiasm for the language surely Mr Tyburn cannot have English as his first & native tongue!

He has keenly translated plays by Shakespeare (probably already an English writer) into something truly remarkable, but yet indefinable.

I am reminded of instructions on the packaging of a child's musical instrument - xylopipes (a sort of tubular xylophone) - which was made somewhere in Asia..."avoid serious beat". In the hands of a toddler, serious beat was both possible and dangerous on the xylopipes.